just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
