would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
