shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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