i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
