Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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