I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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