Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
