I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
