there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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