I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
