You really coming over, don't trick.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
