And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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