so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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