I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hippo gnu deer
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
