next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
