I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This baby is an asshole
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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