Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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