We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
