4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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