i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This girl is more easily done than said...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
