FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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