marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
