Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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