so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
