glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
