lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
