Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Terrible idea I love it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
