You're my little dorito
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Still dying that you shit outside
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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