i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
