He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
