He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
