Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
