so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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