I faked an abortion last night.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
