so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We are two peas in an std pod
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
