My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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