No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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