I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
