Moan for me like Helen Keller
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
