Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
