He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
