we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
