I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
