She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
