I want to have your abortion
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
