FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
