We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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