using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I only lived at night.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
