he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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