And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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