I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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