I never want to see another naked old woman again.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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