Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
