You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
